When she's in the room

During the holidays, I picked up a book recommended by a colleague for International Women’s Day: When She’s in the Room; by Edwina Dun. I ordered it, added it to our company library, and ... was the first to read it. After all, I wanted to make sure it deserved its spot on the shelf 😉.

To be honest, I wasn’t immediately hooked. Maybe that’s because I don’t spend much time thinking about my identity as a woman in the workplace, even though I work in a male-dominated sector—automotive. I’ve never really felt like I was being treated unfairly or held back because of my gender. I’m content with how my career has progressed.

But here’s the thing: the book isn’t about victimhood. Quite the opposite. It’s a data-driven exploration of how women experience life—professionally and personally—across different stages. And while I didn’t expect it to, it triggered something in me. It stayed with me. It lingered.

And that’s what makes a good book, right?

It even sparked a conversation with my husband and daughters over dinner one evening in Italy.

We talked about how relatively recent the Equal Pay Act in the US actually is (1963). Not a guarantee for actual equal pay, but a signal of how recently change started.

I checked then also for Belgium.  The Law on Equal Remuneration for Men and Women was issued in 1975. But in Europe overall, the principle of equal pay was fixed in 1957 in the Treaty of Rome (Article 119).

We spoke also about how pregnancy and having children can slow a woman’s career progression.  My husband pointed out that if a man takes parental leave or works part-time, his career is impacted even more. Which, ironically, proves the point: it’s still considered “normal” for women to miss out on opportunities when moving into part-time (4/5) work regime. But for men, it's seen as really unfair...

I’ve never worked part-time to take care of my kids—nor has my husband. We were lucky to rely on grandparents when needed, but mostly, we managed. The kids had long days at school and aftercare. Was it ideal? Maybe not. But did they have a bad childhood? Definitely not.

Still, I often felt like the exception as a full-time working mom. Reading this book reminded me I wasn’t alone. It was comforting to find like-minded women who are both devoted parents and ambitious professionals.

So what did this book make me think?

That many of the rights we take for granted are actually quite recent. In Belgium, women only gained the right to vote in 1948.  Women were only allowed into universities in the early 20th century. 

The book also dives into leadership—and how women tend to lead differently. According to data, female CEOs often use a more positive communication style. They put emphasis on diversity, lead with empathy, and value things like integrity, vulnerability, and adaptability.

Now, I can’t say from personal experience whether this is always true—but it makes sense to me.

Anyway, a few takeaways I’m taking with me

• Mindfulness matters. I realise I can (and maybe should) play a more active role in supporting women in business. I can speak up, write more, and maybe inspire others by simply sharing what I see, feel, and experience.

• Mindset is key. Not in the sense of being cheerful all the time, but in believing: "I am complete." That’s a powerful place to start from.

• Knowing myself and celebrating my strengths. That one’s still in progress. But this book reminded me how important it is.

• Modesty vs. visibility. A lot of women—myself included—tend to be modest. We don’t really make noise about what we do; we just get on with it. But leadership also asks for visibility—not for the sake of showing off, but to make an impact. Because if no one sees what you bring to the table, it’s harder to drive real change.

• The entitlement gap. There’s a subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) bias around women returning from maternity leave. Often people assume your ambitions have shifted. And honestly, sometimes we think that too—like we no longer deserve that promotion. It’s a toxic internalised bias we need to become aware of.

• The mental load is real. Even if tasks are split more or less equally at home, it’s often the woman who keeps the system running. Who remembers birthdays, school forms, dentist appointments. That takes up real space in your head.

• Perfectionism. We often want to do it all—and do it perfectly. But in the end, in business, it’s not the little tasks that people remember. It’s the bigger picture, the results, and the difference you make. A good reminder for me.

• To inspire and to be inspired by other women. I recently saw Oprah Winfrey live at the SuperNova innovation event. I already admired her as a speaker and interviewer. But learning about her childhood, growing up in poverty—wow. That gave her story so much more depth.  But actually, I don’t have to look far for inspiration with other women : A colleague who’s my go-to sounding board for coaching questions ; A friend who networks like a pro and connects with people wherever she goes ; Another colleague who pushes me to take small steps toward a better planet ; And my daughters, who hold up a mirror when I need to be reminded to let go a little more often.   Inspiration is everywhere if you’re open to it.

• To invest more in fulfilment. For me, one part of that is writing. I started this blog a few years ago, but it dropped down the list when I started writing a book. But I’ve realised the blog brings me something else—it’s about everyday thoughts, reflections, and what’s happening around me.  So here I am. Picking it back up again. 

Interesting was that, in parallel to this book, I’ve also been watching a documentary on AI and ethics (starring Bill Gates). It shows amongst others how easily male-dominated data can create biased algorithms. Another layer of awareness.

So yes, I started this reading thinking I wasn’t particularly occupied with the topic of women in leadership. And I still don’t align with radical feminism or positive discrimination. I believe in balanced diversity, as also the book states.  It’s not “us versus them”—we need the strengths of both women and men.

And no, women aren’t all the same. We come in all shapes, colors, backgrounds, and life stages. Each of us with our own unique essence, and our own evolving idea of fulfillment, moving at our own pace.

As closing comment : I'm the proud mother of two beautiful daughters. In raising them, I’ve always tried to instill a few core values: appreciate what you have, show respect—for people and for the planet—and above all, be resilient and independent. I’ve encouraged them to fight their own battles and solve their own problems, knowing that strength comes from within.

Seeing the young women they are becoming fills me with pride. Reading this book reminded me how vital those values are, and how important it is to move through life with confidence, authenticity, and a sense of purpose.

I hope—despite all my flaws—that I’ve been/am a source of inspiration for them, even just a little. Because without a doubt, they inspire me every day to keep learning, growing, and becoming better.

I mostly remember :

Empowering women empowers the world (the perfect subtitle of the book)

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You may find following interesting read :

• The book "When she's in the the room." How empowering women empowers the world. By Edwina Dunn. Founder of the Female lead